This is a new one and I am excited to share it with you! In a recent HBR (Harvard Business Review) article, titled, “Have you taken the difficult person test?“, a ‘darker’ personality test for the taking. The article indicates that taking any personality quiz {read more}
Welcome back fam! I’m going to get straight to the point: for the longest time I forced myself to be someone I wasn’t. Instead of embracing the delicate, soft parts of myself; I showed the world only my thorns. Randomly finding this little quiz on {read more}
Recently, the childhood memory of playing video games with my brother popped into my mind. He was always able to win faster, I think he understood the cause/effect better than I did. Another memory which comes to mind is trying to learn, by his patient instruction, how to maneuver my person in Street Fighter. In my mind, my brother was always better at everything. Being the younger sister, I have the benefit of him experiencing a ton of things first. This allowed for me to watch and learn.
Side note, I’m so glad I’m not the first child! I think being the second and the ‘baby’ has huge advantages, personally. I’d love to know what is your birth order and how you feel about this!
It seems to me that my brother is more competitive in comparison to me. Not only more competitive but also more tenacious. During games, or sports or just having a friendly game of Around the World in the driveway, my tendency is to want to enjoy the event, moment or time together. While, my brother would improve his skills, no matter the topic, until he won. Whereas I just want things to come naturally and of course do my best. My brother will work toward improving a skill from a mental and technical sense.
In my opinion, my brother’s ability to keep leveling up is very impressive. And it takes a different mindset than my own. This realization came upon me while watching a video featuring “Doctor Mike”. In this video, Dr. Mike says something like, “How do you find motivation to keep doing something you are bad at?” This statement resonated with me for a few reasons. First off, Dr. Mike is extremely successful, it just so happens that he has good at many things. Secondly, it calls to mind the things I don’t enjoy simply because I am not good at them.
In contrast, my brother will probably try almost anything once and regardless of ability, he will continue doing it if he enjoys it. Whereas, if I don’t seem to be picking something up quickly, I don’t tend to enjoy it. On the other hand, if I do enjoy something I don’t need to ever ‘win’ against another person. And this is where the philosophical thoughts could pour in.
While the thought of ‘winning’ doesn’t do much for me. The thought of gaining new skills, and improving the ones I do have is top of mind. In addition, I do enjoy trying new things, and I will put my all into something of interest. One of the most enjoyable activities for me throughout my life is learning the equestrian disciplines. Yet, I think of my desire to learn guitar. The desire is strong, and I enjoy the activity but I feel I need a teacher to guide me. I suppose I enjoy the process of improvement vs putting the skill on display.
In this way, winning to me actually means simply getting better or trying again. Winning does not necessary have to be in competition against another person or team. Winning can be in your own right. Thinking back to my childhood, I have such fund memories of even just watching my brother play video games. I didn’t necessary need to actually play. My enjoyment came from spending time together, not who could hit the right combination of buttons on the controller.
Recognizing what motivates us is so helpful in finding our happy place, or flow point! In addition, I distinctly remember thinking something was wrong with me growing up because I didn’t want to compete. This contrast is interesting consider. Especially because its simply a difference in personality, neither is right or wrong. Instead, it seems that both types of personalities bring balance to the world.
What motivates you? Is the thought of winning the blue ribbon what gets you to the barn at 5am? Or is the experience and enjoyment of riding all you need? Is it a mix of both of these concepts?
When is the last time you experienced something new? Take a second and really think on it. Potentially as simple as ordering something new from your favorite restaurant, or as big as a new hobby. Or, maybe it has been years since you’ve veered from {read more}
Reflection Today’s post is a bit different than most. In brief, it is a reflection exercise. Most likely, this should be done individually or in discussion with a loved one. It may be helpful to have old journals, phone notes or pictures within reach. Think {read more}
My happy place used to be inside an airplane, in the air, above the clouds. I did my best thinking on the plane, my best sleeping on the plane, my best reading on the plane. I once woke up the passenger next to me laughing at a movie on a plane. It truly was my happy place.
In a way, I suppose it was, what some may call, ‘me’ time. It was the place I could put my phone into airplane mode, and hyper-focus on a topic of my choice. Even working on an airplane was more enjoyable for me.
Over the years I had my travel routine down to somewhat of a science. Staying hydrated, the do’s and don’ts of eating and drinking, when to sleep and when to stay awake. It all comes with time and experience. And knowing when to adjust and adapt specifically to your own needs.
Yes, I flew enough to see disgruntled passengers, down-right rude passengers, sometimes smelly ones. But I also witnessed amazing compassion, people helping people and sweet connections. I especially loved when I was working out enough to be able to lift other people’s baggage into the overhead with confidence.
Never have I considered travel glamorous, perhaps this is due to my industry and mostly going to industrial parks. However, with work travel, there is limited or zero time to see the sights, even when in more interesting places. Brushing teeth on an airplane (especially when I had Invisalign) is NOT glamorous. Frequent flying comes with a handful of health risks, dealing with delayed flights. And depending on the airports and connections, flying can be a downright pain.
I am also 100% the person that is doing these stretches in my seat. After many long-ish flights over the Atlantic, and once over the Pacific, I’d rather be able to arrive to my destination bright eyed than worry about the looks I get in the plane (haha).
My favorite route was Raleigh to London, the crew knew me from countless out and back trips. This might sound cool but… the mere fact that I was flying out on a Monday, arriving Tuesday morning to go straight to the office and flying back on Wednesday… packing was easy, let’s leave it at that.
At the end of the day, though, we are in fact flying through the sky and the technology to do this is amazing. Flying single-handedly made the world ‘flat’, sped up commerce and allows most of us to see lands we wouldn’t have been able to even get to without it!
The actual experience of being up in the sky, made all the small inconveniences worth it. The view. The beauty. Seeing the moon over the water.
Being literally up in the clouds and remembering how awesome technology is. (I can only imagine how it feels to be an astronaut!)
The change in perspective is one that cannot be easily replicated without truly being up there. Even the pictures on this page cannot come close to eliciting the same *feeling* of being up there in the sky, going 500+ miles per hour. (Yes, that was an awkwardly placed late 90’s Chris Rock reference, accurate nonetheless).
One day in particular it was a full moon AND there was a lightening storm. I handed my phone to another passenger to take a few videos.
Another flight I vividly remember was on the Fourth of July, which is Independence Day here in the states. Seeing fireworks from up in the sky was one of the most beautiful sights.
The picture to the right is over the Delaware River, flying through Philadelphia most likely going back to North Carolina from a work trip. (Philly was my home airport when I started my career. American Airlines, previously US Air, became the airline of choice because of the points I’d accumulated over time.) This particular night was a full moon and it was so clear that evening.
In previous years, if a company made cuts preventing us to spend on travel, we would call it being ‘grounded’. This was typically 6 months at most. Today marks a full year of not being in the so-called friendly skies for me. On March 1, 2020, the day of the trip, we were officially grounded; this time not for budgetary reasons. The morning of, I woke up with optimism. I still hoped to go ‘home’, see London-based colleagues and at least be in the same time zone with the other folks.
Never could I have anticipated this change. (Of course, I could have opted to take a flight during this time (with a mask and 14 day quarantines) but I never had a compelling reason to do so.)
Now, instead, I appreciate the view of the sky from below. To the right is a picture of an airplane from I95 near the Newark, NJ airport. It is my favorite spot along the drive from Connecticut to New Jersey, because the planes fly so close to the highway.
Even though I don’t get to be up in the sky right now, I’ve still been admiring the beauty from below.
Looking back I am overly thankful I was kept stateside. However, as months of stay-at-home orders continued on, my identity had to adapt.
Having become accustomed to making friends with the person in the seat next to me, eating in airports, doing yoga in terminal 3 of ORD, and even having a pair of flight attendant pumps. Being stuck in one literal spot has taken its toll on me.
It felt like mother nature grounded me. As I write this, I consider the fact an entire year has gone by and it sometimes still feels unreal.
For the time being, my passport won’t get stamped, my bright yellow crocs adorn my feet instead of heels and my view consists of a 13″ laptop screen. One desk in my home has become the spot to work, do my taxes (yes you can call me an overachiever…), video chat with friends and journal.
In the abrupt switch from ‘home’ being anywhere (see my last post) to everything happening at home, the 180 sometimes still feels like a strange dream.
The seasons of the last year, in my life, won’t be remembered by the weather. Instead, the last 12 months are now marked by the incremental and often uncomfortable identity shift.
One last thing to add. I am forever thankful my position can be done 100% remotely. 8+ hours a day of video calls isn’t for the faint of heart, but I am safe at home.
I will also say, Bianca has of course enjoyed having me home all the time. When she isn’t sitting in my lap making my job easier by relaxing the mood, she’s sitting on the couch in my home office (shown here) staring at me.
We are both enjoying the start of warmer weather and extra daylight here in North Carolina <3
Squirrel A lesson in self-realization and the need to embrace perceived flaws. There is only one person in my life whom, I can heartily say, can be as easily distracted as me. The realization of my distracted tendency came only after I met this person. They {read more}
Happy February 1st! Are you excited to embark on the second month of 2021, fresh faced and bright eyed?! This weekend I wrote out February goals and revisited my 2021 kick-off. After making changes to my vision board, I’ve found there a benefit to make {read more}
… would smell just as sweet.
William Shakespeare
This frequently paraphrased quote (maybe I hear it more than others) comes from an excerpt of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet”. The common interpretation is: something is not changed by the name it has been assigned. Within the context of the literary piece, Juliet’s wanting to be with Romeo was not allowed due to his and her families dislike for one another. Juliet’s wise words were to say a last name and the family of origin does not make a person. Unfortunately for both of these fictional characters, Juliet’s opinion could not over throw their harsh reality.
Even in today’s world our names hold meaning, in some countries, the last name (or surname as most call it) still maintains not only a class but also a reputation. Often dictating the individual’s acceptable path in life. Right or wrong, names typically come with an association, some leverage this for branding purposes (thinking of the family with the last name beginning with K) while others must push back a stigma and may suffer because of their name.
Stepping away from family names, let’s talk about Juliet’s example using flowers. In recent times people are loosing their sense of smell – if blindfolded and even without smell, a person might still identify a rose by feeling its soft petals combined with its sharp thorns. The characteristics of the flower let us identify the type – so whereas Juliet’s quandary regarding her love’s surname is valid, the reverse is not only true but also applicable. The characteristics of an object or person can most likely easily identify that object or person (remember that game “Guess Who?”?).
List out what characteristics come up in association with you. If you were to play the game “Guess Who?” what are the top 3 things someone might call out about your character… (not appearance based)?
In comparison, what characteristics WOULD you like to be known for?
And thirdly, when you think about your ideal self, for instance, the self reflected through your visual board. The person you will become when you meet your goals, what characteristics does that ‘person’ have?
Are there steps and changes in your behavior that you can start asap or look into to become those things?
Sometimes this type of self-reflection is made easier by asking for another’s perspective or taking a version of a personality test or fun quiz online (this one is a cute fun one that tells you what character on TV you may be like).
When asking another person, keep in mind their descriptor words may vary to a fairly big degree, typically depending factors such as: where they were raised in the world and their frame of reference or background. That being said, it would be wise to ask or base your evaluation from someone who knows you well or has seen you ‘in action’.
For example, the list associated with me would most likely consist of the following:
Always stick to your core values and do not be too hard on yourself. Reason being, this can be an eye opening and difficult exercise to go through. Remember, it is only meant for self-improvement NOT to beat yourself up!
If you are pleased with your results of this exercise, keep on ‘you-ing’. Identify the items on the list that resonate with you and praise yourself for those that you have been working on! For those that you DO agree with, but would like to adjust, begin to observe yourself and make small steps to change.
One great way to get there faster, is to model yourself off someone you admire. Keeping in mind no one is perfect, having an example can keep you on track!
The more you work toward becoming the person you KNOW you can be – the happier you will become with your personality, the more you can trust yourself and with this comes well founded confidence.
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this – some of your desired characteristics that you feel you embody well and any thoughts on the people you admire the most!
In the process of writing this I came across this board game called “Who’s She?” So far it looks like it is only available in Europe: https://playeress.com/
