Motivation & Enjoyment
Recently, the childhood memory of playing video games with my brother popped into my mind. He was always able to win faster, I think he understood the cause/effect better than I did. Another memory which comes to mind is trying to learn, by his patient instruction, how to maneuver my person in Street Fighter. In my mind, my brother was always better at everything. Being the younger sister, I have the benefit of him experiencing a ton of things first. This allowed for me to watch and learn.
Side note, I’m so glad I’m not the first child! I think being the second and the ‘baby’ has huge advantages, personally. I’d love to know what is your birth order and how you feel about this!
It seems to me that my brother is more competitive in comparison to me. Not only more competitive but also more tenacious. During games, or sports or just having a friendly game of Around the World in the driveway, my tendency is to want to enjoy the event, moment or time together. While, my brother would improve his skills, no matter the topic, until he won. Whereas I just want things to come naturally and of course do my best. My brother will work toward improving a skill from a mental and technical sense.
In my opinion, my brother’s ability to keep leveling up is very impressive. And it takes a different mindset than my own. This realization came upon me while watching a video featuring “Doctor Mike”. In this video, Dr. Mike says something like, “How do you find motivation to keep doing something you are bad at?” This statement resonated with me for a few reasons. First off, Dr. Mike is extremely successful, it just so happens that he has good at many things. Secondly, it calls to mind the things I don’t enjoy simply because I am not good at them.
In contrast, my brother will probably try almost anything once and regardless of ability, he will continue doing it if he enjoys it. Whereas, if I don’t seem to be picking something up quickly, I don’t tend to enjoy it. On the other hand, if I do enjoy something I don’t need to ever ‘win’ against another person. And this is where the philosophical thoughts could pour in.
What does winning truly mean?
While the thought of ‘winning’ doesn’t do much for me. The thought of gaining new skills, and improving the ones I do have is top of mind. In addition, I do enjoy trying new things, and I will put my all into something of interest. One of the most enjoyable activities for me throughout my life is learning the equestrian disciplines. Yet, I think of my desire to learn guitar. The desire is strong, and I enjoy the activity but I feel I need a teacher to guide me. I suppose I enjoy the process of improvement vs putting the skill on display.
In this way, winning to me actually means simply getting better or trying again. Winning does not necessary have to be in competition against another person or team. Winning can be in your own right. Thinking back to my childhood, I have such fund memories of even just watching my brother play video games. I didn’t necessary need to actually play. My enjoyment came from spending time together, not who could hit the right combination of buttons on the controller.
Recognizing what motivates us is so helpful in finding our happy place, or flow point! In addition, I distinctly remember thinking something was wrong with me growing up because I didn’t want to compete. This contrast is interesting consider. Especially because its simply a difference in personality, neither is right or wrong. Instead, it seems that both types of personalities bring balance to the world.
What motivates you? Is the thought of winning the blue ribbon what gets you to the barn at 5am? Or is the experience and enjoyment of riding all you need? Is it a mix of both of these concepts?