When doing a life evaluation, it can feel so BIG. Interestingly, I tend to want to change my entire life every March or April. It is such an odd thing I’ve recognized about myself. Basically I wake up at the end of winter, when the {read more}
Today’s post contains thoughts and inspiration around why delight is so important on a daily basis. Also included are links to books about delight. AND phone backgrounds for a reminder to find delight today!
Simply put, this year has had a handful of twists and unexpected turns. Whilst I do enjoy roller coasters (they tickle me and I laugh and laugh), I’d rather not experience anything similar in real life. However, as we all know, rarely do things go just as we planned. When looking back, I typically can see the silver lining. But, in the moment of the surprising news or going through what only time can solve, life can feel rather icky.
During these unsettling times, I personally tend to veer away from my routines; forgetting my good habits. Most often, I want to take some sort of action. Typically these actions are healthy distractions. For example, cleaning the house, updating rooms and moving furniture around.
This is all well and good until a month has passed without progress on my actual goals. Funny enough, a few years back, to my huge surprise, a quiz I took at work told me I was lacking in focus. At this exact moment, as I write this, I realize perhaps why my results appeared as they did.
Anyway! This past weekend, the awareness that I was avoiding true quiet time with myself came over me. This resulted in the ah-ha moment of where some (not all) of my recent anxiety was stemming from. (Quiet time defined as no school work, no books, no movies, no texting. In other words, I hadn’t recently sat down and really looked over the last few months and the months to come.)
I sincerely hope you find this as funny as I do. Upon my realization, I thought to myself, “Rose, you literally write a blog about this… take your own advice.” And that is exactly what I did. Taking out a pen and paper, I went back through all my blog posts. The two I found most helpful were:
Upon reviewing all of my previous posts and fixing some grammatical errors, I sat down again with my original four goals. A check-in was long overdue. Below is a brief summary by focus area on where I intend to go starting today.
First thing I’m doing is establishing a new morning routine and sticking to it! The second thing is focusing on self-care and the healing of my face (if you missed that update you can find it here). Thirdly, there is a bunch going on daily with my career and I also want to continue to grow my blog.
My last item is about my hobbies. In a future blog I’d like to break this one down further. The reason being, is that I recently rediscovered a previous hobby. A hobby that takes me into my flow state. For so long I think I was unconsciously denying myself of this pleasure. Otherwise, I also want to try something new soon!
So, now it’s time to do your own check-in. How is your year going compared to the original plan? Have the months progressed in a way you thought they might? Are there any actions you can take today to get things back on track? (Even if it is as simple as re-establishing your goals?)
Potentially it is time to sit and look at your vision board and take it all in again! This small exercise helped me to remember where my mind was at as 2020 was coming to a close. There were SO MANY unknowns with the state of our nation, COVID, and so much more on a personal level.
Or maybe, like I did write your top ten important habits down and start tracking them again! The simple act of making a list helps me – even if I don’t track this each day. Having something to give me a tiny reminder of what few things I want to be sure to do everyday helps! Tracking is also a helpful reminder for when I do succeed and can check everything off. By the way ‘laugh’ is on my habits list! And if by the end of the day I haven’t laughed, I will search this world wide web for something funny.
If you do decide to complete this exercise, let me know how it goes! I know as the year goes on, it can seem like our original goals might not even be close to being met. But, I promise you, its not too late to start again or get back on track!
Have you recently had a moment when you felt like your heart was literally lighting up? A moment when you felt so inspired or joyful it was visible?! Or maybe something resonated with you so much you felt like, ‘finally this is what I’ve felt all along!”?
Here we are, May 2021. All things considered, how is the speed of this year going compared to last? For me, this year seems to be going much faster. Perhaps this is due to becoming more used to working from home and gradually less unknowns. {read more}
Do you ever find yourself asking, “What should I do now?”
Potentially this question flashes before you at an unexpected dead-end in the road, and others it comes a ‘real-life’ dead-end. Sometimes, long-time-coming or completely unexpected, this feeling isn’t normally a good one. However, the response to the feeling can produce a good outcome!
This feeling in the pit of your stomach might come when you realize a ton of hard work went into something but the outcome fell short. Or, in some cases, when you thought your end goal goes hand-in-hand with your desire but shortly before reaching the finish line, realize it falls short.
Bottom line, every once in awhile, I find myself thinking, “Now what?”.
Typically, this is after I’ve achieved a goal and it isn’t overly satisfying or when I’ve made the big decision to pivot. Sometimes though, it is after a long period of monotony.
Either way, the one big takeaway is to NOT just stay put. Whenever this feeling pops up, warding it off or waiting it out typically doesn’t work. Sure, potentially a good nights sleep, a glass of water and a good talk works things out. But, in my experience, when you truly feel that dead-end feeling, the immediate response needs to be, “Change something.”
Obviously, this is not as simple as just backing up and turning around. Instead, the change, or the ‘something different’ should be based on criteria personal to each individual. It also might take some deep consideration, thoughtfulness and reasonable timing depending on how many responsibilities a person has in their life.
So, while this blog post cannot tell you specifically what to do next. It is meant to provide the heart and mind steps to sort out your feelings and move forward. To change something.
As previously discussed here on the blog, I am almost always up for change. Not only change, but new experiences. At different points in my life, the newness came with varying degrees of considerations.
For example, in university, after a year of taking Teacher Education classes, I knew it wasn’t going to be my first career for a variety of reasons (which we will discuss another time). As soon as I had that pit in my stomach, I knew I needed to take action and do it fast so that I wasn’t wasting time. Keep in mind, becoming a teacher was the only thing I thought I had ever wanted to do. So, this heart feeling of ‘maybe this isn’t for me’ not only surprised me but really had me anxious thinking, “Well, what now…?”
Wondering how many would be disappointed in just the thought of me being something other than a teacher, worry and fear crept into my mind. Second came the questions flooding in which ranged from, “Where did this feeling come from?” to, “How am I going to switch now?”.
Please note, this is one example, however I have felt this dead-end feeling about 4 times in my life. Looking back, I see where each experience was less daunting. Not only less daunting, but also almost exciting. My most recent experience with this feeling felt more like a clear moment of intuition versus the dreadful feeling I first had.
An evaluation stage happened first, to determine if I was thinking clearly, whether I had just had a bad day or if something else was really the problem. After a brief reflection period and talking to an advisor, I realized my head and heart were aligned. This wasn’t just an emotion I was feeling, it was a logical thought coming from my mind to my heart to tell me to change something. In addition, I had enough experience in the classroom to know that this ‘feeling’ was founded on more than fear but actual experience.
The next step I took was more downright logical. During this logic check, I first determined the consequences of changing my focus of study (here in the states, called a major) after a year of school. Would I still have my scholarship? Was double majoring an option? How would my financial status change with the university? The list of logical questions I had to have answered went on and on. However, I did NOT let this deter me. Once I had the questions answered, I went back to do a heart check.
During my heart check I had to make a choice with all of the information I had gathered. Fortunately, this particular decision was big but also straight forward. Reason being, I was not going to loose anything with the change. Thankfully, I could instead, simply pick up a second major.
The ability to hold on to my initial path while trying out a new one would come with a much heavier workload and class schedule. It would also come with additional costs of not just college credits, but school books and other materials. Once I had all of my information gathered, I did a coin toss. JUST KIDDING! Sometimes the coin toss method does help though!
There were two heart moment days during this particular (approximately month long decision process). The first came when I did a mock schedule on the university’s system. Although I would have long class days, the two majors mostly operated on different schedules. The first YES I heard my heart screaming was when my schedule, two majors, two minors and two jobs clicked right into place. (That may or may not be a reference to my current career, you decide ;)).
ANYWAY, the second heart moment solidified my decision and was also a necessary logical step. Gaining approval from the university to take a greater amount of credits than the typical allotment for a full time student. When I saw the approval come through, I KNEW it was the right step forward.
In my experience, this inner knowing is not always apart of the decision making process. Sometimes we do have to step out in faith. That being said however, that first step is either going to come with a dreadful feeling or a giddy feeling. Listen to it. Get to the point, where your, “What now…?” dreaded question becomes, “What now!!!!?” excited question (as illustrated by our stick figures).
Let’s see if you can confidently answer your, “Now What?” question with, “Something different.” And not only know its going to be a change, but realize it is at least a step closer to your heart’s desire.
One of my favorite things about this is that it is almost fail proof. Taking this three step process, no matter the size of your choice to do something different will produce some sort of answer! You can and will be able to look back and see that you made sure it was not just a reaction, you gathered all the facts and consequences and lastly, you checked back in with yourself.
P.S. One recommendation: as you start taking either baby steps or big leaps, check back in with your heart. It will tell you when you are off course!
Lastly, I would LOVE to connect with you below. Have you ever felt this heart tugging ‘redirection’. And if so, what did you do?!
The ability to hold on to my initial path while trying out a new one would come with a much heavier workload and class schedule. It would also come with additional costs of not just college credits, but school books and other materials. Once I had all of my information gathered, I did a coin toss. JUST KIDDING! Sometimes the coin toss method does help though!
There were two heart moment days during this particular (approximately month long decision process). The first came when I did a mock schedule on the university’s system. Although I would have long class days, the two majors mostly operated on different schedules. The first YES I heard my heart screaming was when my schedule, two majors, two minors and two jobs clicked right into place. (That may or may not be a reference to my current career, you decide ;)).
ANYWAY, the second heart moment solidified my decision and was also a necessary logical step. Gaining approval from the university to take a greater amount of credits than the typical allotment for a full time student. When I saw the approval come through, I KNEW it was the right step forward.
In my experience, this inner knowing is not always apart of the decision making process. Sometimes we do have to step out in faith. That being said however, that first step is either going to come with a dreadful feeling or a giddy feeling. Listen to it. Get to the point, where your, “What now…?” dreaded question becomes, “What now!!!!?” excited question (as illustrated by our stick figures).
Let’s see if you can confidently answer your, “Now What?” question with, “Something different.” And not only know its going to be a change, but realize it is at least a step closer to your heart’s desire.
One of my favorite things about this is that it is almost fail proof. Taking this three step process, no matter the size of your choice to do something different will produce some sort of answer! You can and will be able to look back and see that you made sure it was not just a reaction, you gathered all the facts and consequences and lastly, you checked back in with yourself.
P.S. One recommendation: as you start taking either baby steps or big leaps, check back in with your heart. It will tell you when you are off course!
Lastly, I would LOVE to connect with you below. Have you ever felt this heart tugging ‘redirection’. And if so, what did you do?!
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY! There are many women in my life that are absolutely outstanding. Amazing mothers, great professionals, wise educators, content creators, determined students and brave authors. No matter their ‘title’ in life, they are all influencers in one way or another. With a {read more}
Squirrel A lesson in self-realization and the need to embrace perceived flaws. There is only one person in my life whom, I can heartily say, can be as easily distracted as me. The realization of my distracted tendency came only after I met this person. They {read more}
Alllright be honest what word came to mind after the … ?
Sweet? Good? Blah? Don’t even want to talk about it??
Our lives are made up of lots of days, (according to google women live on average to be about 78 years old which is 28,470 days). Measuring life in days really can change the perspective… thank goodness we get a chance to start all over again everyday. And the other good news is we have the opportunity to influence how most of our days are spent!
The goal of today’s post is for each of us to identify the elements we need to keep ourselves ‘on’ and make sure these elements are sprinkled in everyday. What does this have to do with a pilot light you ask? Let’s dive into some story time!
Have you ever heard of the cold shower trend? Simply put: people take cold showers to force themselves to feel uncomfortable intending to build up tenacity, mental toughness and overcome fears?
I did not participate in this trend very long, however I will say I can see why it was so effective! One day (not a planned cold shower day) my shower water was not warming up… having no idea why this might happen, I called my cousin who proceeded to teach me what a pilot light is and its importance. I never became brave enough to light it myself but quickly learned the importance of such a small flame. The pilot light’s purpose is simple:
Now is the time to ask yourself – is your pilot light burning and if you needed additional energy would it be available now?
Reflecting on what ignites you: activities you find to be enjoyable, calming, empowering or energizing.
Think back to the last time you had a full day filled with ‘goodness’. A day you can remember smiling or laughing until you cry. Or maybe even a day of sadness but that brought you closer to your friends and family.
Write down a list of about 10 things that stand out to you when you think of the good days. If one of your days includes a once in a lifetime celebration or event – think about what made it good – the music? the people? the outfit? the pictures? Even though we might not be able to recreate a specific event over again, we can still take from the elements that made it amazing!
My list includes (in no particular order):
Obviously I wrote 11 instead of ten… 11 is a lucky number though so we will go with it! It isn’t every day that I get to spend by the water or hike a mountain, and at this point even see friends which is why this list is even more important now.
Each day I have started making sure I do at least one activity on the list and keep the activities balanced over time. While work is on my list (which I realize might be rare), going too long without a good workout or without reading or listening to something educational causes issues. Tending to either get into my head wayyyy too much or my little pilot light goes out all together.
What is on your list? Any activities you can add to your schedule TODAY? Can you plan a few for a future ‘today’? Are there one or 2 which you could do everyday?
One last note before we end today’s blog – being present in the moment while doing these activities, even as simple as sipping coffee and enjoying the taste and temperature can make a difference. I noticed the biggest difference on how I was approaching my yoga practice – if I stayed in the moment in each posture versus thinking of it as a way to check something off a ‘to-do’ list, my overall day felt more meaningful.
Lastly – I want to know if anyone else has work on their list! Comment down below <3
Over the years, goal setting has become the one habit that has brought the most deliberate success. One of these days we will dive a bit deeper into why goal setting did not originally come natural to me and how I have cultivated my mind {read more}