Extending grace in the low moments
Being human, living on earth and going through the seasons and cycles which are life is apt to have moments of weakness, feelings of sadness, or simply once in a while experiencing being off of our game. Today’s post comes from many years of forcefully pushing aside any emotion (good or bad). I can wholeheartedly confirm that ignoring an emotion or character trait does not make it go away. Acting like it doesn’t exist within us will prevent us from growing.
A different approach
In order to best honor ourselves, it is important to recognize these moments, and let them affect us. Let the moments be the moments, or the cycle be the cycle. Honor your feelings, tears or rage that can come over you during these times. Fighting these seasons of life or cycles will not make them go away. Instead letting them come and go with grace will allow for a smooth transition from one to another. In other words, be okay with saying, “I am not okay.”
Try your very best to avoid self-judgement during these times. Recognize the differences and changes occurring within you; observe yourself as though you were an outsider looking in. But again, reserve all judgement. Find the beauty in the unstable moments and lean into seeing through to the recovery of your natural self. The more you can accept the low and broken moments, the better it will feel when things are pieced back together and whole again.
Be honest with yourself
Only through admitting the truth in a situation, can we properly overcome it. Furthermore, taking accountability for our low moments, feelings of deep sadness and any expressions of these intense feelings allows us to decide what to do in the future. This honesty with ourselves allows us to be present to our emotion, better understand what is the cause behind it; and set ourselves up for success in future moments.
For example, if a certain cycle in life typically has you feeling depressed or weepy – plan ahead for the next month. Plan to watch a romantic movie, or read a book or simply have down time. Don’t try to push the emotions aside. Instead, plan on having a nanny or good friend take the kids, maybe even send your loved ones away so you can enjoy some solitude. Either way do not self-shame or get inwardly critical for what you are feeling.
Or perhaps, there isn’t a natural cycle causing your pain. Instead, maybe you are burnt out and need to start saying ‘no’ more often. The moment of realizing how you are feeling and the resulting honoring of that feeling brings about the process of empowerment. The moment you say no, to set a boundary and take back your time will create a sense of self-respect.
The same goes for anything which is making you feel poorly, perhaps it is not a cycle OR others need for your time. Perhaps you are not honoring your body through the food you eat. This is another example where being honest with yourself is step one. Cause and effect is step two. And changing something is number three.
Recognizing the need for an adjustments, letting yourself sit with your emotions and holding space with yourself will begin to help build self-trust. Just imagine how much better you will feel once you start honoring your specific need.
Give yourself grace through these moments, try and reserve self-judgement and any spiraling self-loathing. Instead, embrace yourself for all that you are – the brilliant pieces, the dark and gloomy pieces and the radiating pieces. And remember, you are human. And you are loved.